The Black Dog

The Black Dog

 

She didn’t notice him at first.
Just saw signs and caught glimpses,
until one day she turned around
and he’d made himself at home,
staring at her all the while.

She tried to ignore the black dog,
smiling and laughing around him.
Pretending he wasn’t there,
so she didn’t have to think too much
about the implications of it all.

He’d visited before, this black dog.
However, never for this long.
Usually he’d raise his head,
take a few sniffs and be on his merry way,
while she settled herself down.

In the beginning he was harmless
only disrupting her day a little,
killing her plants and neglecting her house.
Until he started to chase away
her friends,
her family,
her life.

He’d whine at her loved ones,
pawing at their coats,
or just completely ignoring them.
He’d growl at her husband
who fought back with hugs and kisses (as amazing husbands do)

But the black dog didn’t leave.

Now worst are the mornings,
the moment she wakes to find him
settled on her heart, immovable
unforgiving, illogical,
digging deeper into the hole
in her chest.

Thinking thoughts she doesn’t want
remembering things she’d rather not
Hating her weaknesses and
searching for her strengths.
Trying to shoo that black dog out the door.

Not smiling, not frowning,
No feelings, just drowning
in apathy
with the occasional burst of sorrow
building in her chest
and finding it’s way out of her mouth.


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About Me
Emma Stuart

A teacher, writer, daughter, sister, and wife with a love for life and a penchant for blogging all about it.

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